What horses have to do with effectiveness

Lessons from Natural Horsemanship

Kerul and Goldi

It's not an obvious metaphor, but natural horsemanship carries some powerful themes of self-leadership.  I just returned from a 2 week
course called "Liberty and Horse Behavior" at the Parelli Center in Florida, and while the name of the course doesn't sound like it has
much to glean in the area of unleashing one's potential, the thrust of the 2 weeks was about how to be a better leader of yourself.

Here are some of the major focal points:

* Observation - if we just have a result in mind   and we don't  regard the always-present and ongoing feedback, including the small details, we end up in disharmony, conflict, struggle, and lost opportunity.  Potential-revealing angle: Closely observe your own mental and action patterns, and the choices you make based on  those patterns.

* Positive Interpretation - it's useless to observe if you don't have a way to understand and interpret what you're seeing.  Your horse is never wrong, it's just doing what it understands or feels safe enough to do (just like you!).  Potential-revealing angle:  stop making yourself wrong for your choices.  You made them based on your best knowledge, experience, and energy.  Bashing yourself doesn't put you in an inspirational mindset (just the opposite!)
  - which leads us to...

* Experimentation - "You have a 50/50 chance" of accurately
  interpreting, and then making a plan based on that interpretation
  that will work just as you'd like it to.   Participants in the
  course must have heard  this maxim 10 times each day.  Every
  moment provides a new opportunity to try again, and if the
  previous choice didn't work very well, just try a new one this
  time.  Potential-revealing angle: this sustainable, forgiving
  strategy keeps you moving forward over the long-term.

* Another Parelli maxim is "Take the time it takes, so it takes
  less time."  I found I really had to slow down to not only
  observe, but also allow my horse to take in the communication.
  While I went twice as slow in the actions, it led to understanding
  and results that were more than twice as fast as I would have
  gotten had I not taken the time.  What I was doing in that time
  was building my own and my horse's confidence.
  Potential-revealing angle: Confidence is  rocket fuel for
  effectiveness.

* An effective Phase 4 - Phases refer to pressure.  Phase 1 is
  soft and subtle, the equivalent of a few ounces, Phase 2 is no
  more than 8 ounces, Phase 3 is a couple of pounds, and  Phase 4 is
  as much pressure as it takes to make the horse move.  I learned
  not to nag in Phase 2 and 3, but to hold a long Phase 1, then
  quickly proceed to an effective Phase 4 if I didn't get results.
  It's similar to my "Hire a Hit Man" strategy - you're making it
  uncomfortable for the horse to do something other than what you'd
  like her to.  Potential-revealing angle: assign only potent
  consequences - and rewards - to help you (or others) follow
  through.

I was told by more than one instructor that I was nagging my horse
(ouch!)  when asking her to back up or go sideways because I wasn't
using phases as  effectively as I could.  I was doing a disservice
to both of us by not going to an effective Phase 4. Once Venus
understood that I was willing to use Phase 4, she soon decided to
cooperate at Phase 1.

This week, when you find yourself rushing, pause to observe your
patterns and then interpret them without judgment.  Experiment with
new choices and actions, just for the sake of it.  What would be an
effective Phase 4  for you to take sustainable action on your most
closely held objectives?